My Journey with God and the Pathway Chapel

The Baby Deer

As a deer pants for streams of water so my soul pants for you, Oh God. (Psalms 42:1)

For many years I had been enamored with the sight of deer grazing peacefully in the country. However for a long time I never saw any that is until one Saturday morning four years ago, as I was sitting at my computer. I happened to look out the window and there was a very tiny, skinny fawn following my mixed-breed Lab. I was shocked! I had no idea why.

Well as things turned out, my husband & I raised the fawn from about one week old. Our dog Colby became her surrogate mother. We fed her 5 times a day 3 large baby bottles, along with carrots. We fed her for over a year until finally she weaned herself.

Over the years the deer has presented her young to us. The first year one fawn then the second year it was twins, and this year it was one fawn again.

To say the deer has been a blessing and a pleasure is an understatement. She would come up and eat carrots out of our hand and when she thought the time was right, she introduced her off spring to us. Her off spring did not come as close as she did, and we thought that best for their safety.

This past year she even brought her fawn up as I was conducting a Deep Water Aerobics class from my home one evening. I did not even see the deer, until the class made me aware of her standing at the edge of the pool. She was just quietly standing and watching us. I believe she was looking for my husband to get her daily allotment of carrots.

Everyone who saw her fell in love with her. She was such a sweet gentle animal. She even let my Two and a half year old grandson feed her carrots out of his little hand. And she especially loved to be rubbed and petted on.

One evening in late October she was standing outside our back porch, and I knew something was wrong. I called my husband and he realized that she had been shot with a bow and arrow. The wound was about 1 1/2" long by 1" long and about 1/2" deep. We could nearly see her jawbone.

While we knew the risks in getting attached to a wild animal it was no less painful. It is illegal to make a pet of any wild animal. Because of this, we could not call a vet for assistance. I told my husband, if she was in pain or was suffering he would have to consider the inevitable. He didn't know if he could do that. We decided to wait. I emailed and talked to those who knew of her and I prayed, as did many others.

We did not see the deer for about 4 weeks. One night towards dusk, she came up. She had just gotten through the matting season. What we saw was truly a miracle. The huge hole was not only no longer visible, but the hair had totally grown over the place and we could not even tell where the near fatal wound had been.

Truly the miracle of the deer's healing goes to the one and only great Physician, God. I had asked Him from the very beginning to take care of her and He has. No veterinarian could have healed her any better.

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My Jonah Experience

I will not let you go until you bless me.

Jonah was a reluctant prophet given a mission he found distasteful. He chose to run away from God, rather than obey him. Like Jonah we may have to do things in life that we don't want to do.

Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to turn and run. Although the prophet Jonah tried to run away from God, God was in control. By controlling the stormy seas and a great whale, God displayed his absolute, yet loving guidance.

You cannot seek God's love and run from him at the same time. Jonah soon realized that no matter where he went, he couldn't get away from God.

But before Jonah could return to God, he first had to stop going in the opposite direction. What has God told you to do? If you want more of God's love and power, you must be willing to carry out the responsibilities he gives you.

You cannot say that you truly believe in God if you don't do what He asks of you. I know, because several years ago He sent someone into my life, and no matter how I tried to avoid this person, God would continue to send them on a daily basis. That is until, I allowed God to do His work through both of our lives.

Sometimes the work we feel we are qualified to do, is not the work God has in mind for us. He knows best how to utilize us, and His way will prevail. And I used to think that this Bible story was nothing more than a fairy tale.

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The Broken Angel

The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the way. (Psalms 1)

It was in the summer of 1995, when my very dear friend Carlene came down to spend some quiet time in The Pathway Chapel. She left this note and verse for me.

Carole:

I've been waiting for several weeks for this special angel for your chapel and finally I received a call telling me it was ready.

Today as I was placing it on the table to go inside your house, I dropped it and the consequences are quite visible. The words of a song, "Pick Up The Broken Pieces", quickly came to mind and I have left those words beside the angel.

Perhaps in its broken state, this special angel will do its best work by helping to put back together the broken pieces of all who visit The Pathway Chapel.

Shalom -
Carleen

Pick up the broken pieces and take them to the Lord.
Pick up the broken pieces Trust in His Holy Word.
He'll put them back together and make your life complete.
Pick up the broken pieces at the Savior's feet.

When I came home and found the broken angel and the note in the chapel, I called Carleen and we talked about what we should do, whether to have the angel fixed or leave it as is. We agreed to leave it.

However, Carleen wanted me to put it up on a shelf, which I did, and sometime after I left, the angel fell onto the floor and broke into even more pieces.

By now the angel had no base on which to stand. Again we talked about what to do. We agreed to have the base repaired just enough so the angel would be able to stand. Angel in hand Carleen took it off for repair.

A couple months later the angel was returned to the chapel. But much to our dismay it came back completely repaired and whole, which was somewhat of a disappointment to both of us.

I had the broken pieces and just placed them at the base of the angel's feet, therefore the effect was still there.

Some months later, I was in the chapel and happened to look down at the angel. Much to my surprise, there were no broken pieces on the base of the angel, or anywhere else in the chapel. Where had they gone? Who would have removed those broken pieces? I could only surmise that the healing had taken place and the broken pieces had been mended, by none other~~

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The Blessings of Darkness

I will give you the treasures of darkness. (Isaiah 45:3)

Depression can be a descent into ourselves that leads to a more mature faith in God. For the first and only time in my life, I went through depression for over five years. Prior to those years I had built a large spiritual bank account.

However, due to several factors in my life with one being a major job change, I slowly stopped doing those things that had added to my spiritual bank account and began withdrawing what I had built up on a daily basis.

The result left me depleted and I came to know the dark night of the soul, the desert, and the wilderness experiences. I chose not to take medication for the depression. Instead, I determined to live through it because I sensed that by living it, I would gain the most spiritually. I was not disappointed.

Coming back from depression was the hardest work I ever did in my life. I took one step forward and two steps backward, over and over again. I wondered if I would I ever be at peace again. The things that had given me comfort and peace in the past were meaningless during this time.

Gradually I began to realize that God was coming to me from a new perspective by making me aware of things in symbolic ways. Sometimes my awareness came in the form of a material object, and at other times through a person. I spent much of my personal time alone, except for the support of one person. I knew this was something that only I could do even though others wanted to be of help to me.

I began to slowly realize that I had asked God to use me but I had been unwilling to trust and obey Him. In my new attempts to serve God, I recognized that I had failed my first assignment and that the behaviors, which worked for me in the past, were no longer useful.

Another thing, which became clear to me, regarded the issue of CONTROL. I knew I did not want to control others and only wanted to retain control of myself. Yet, learning this became my toughest lesson. However, as I began to let go of controlling my life, God began to work marvelous things in my life. Gradually I recognized that no longer did I have to struggle with things I previously thought necessary. I only needed to trust and obey whatever He asked of me.

Through following the direction God had in mind for my life, I became overwhelmed with gratitude for what He was doing. Thus my depression was transformed and I found greater joy, peace and gratitude than I had ever known.

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